We have dreamed of you. You came to us during a particularly hard time and helped us find our footing. Your father and I have many promises to make to you. Some of which you may not like, and others you may not understand until you are older, but one day I hope you read this and find yourself smiling. Only to realize we only wanted you to be safe, and happy, and oh so loved.

If you follow my blog regularly, I’m sure you will know what the past 6 months of life have brought my husband and I and our families. I find life a crazy and unpredictable roller coaster that you really don’t ever know where it will take you or what is in store for us. In October, I went through such heartbreak and sadness of miscarrying my first pregnancy. Something that I wanted more than anything I’ve ever wanted in the entire world. At the time, I thought nothing in the world would ever feel the same again and I would never be able to be myself and be truly happy after what I experienced. Although I will never get the chance to meet our angel baby, I can always dream of the person he/she would have become. I may not have ever known our angel baby, but you will always have a place in our hearts, thoughts and our family.

I am currently trying to hold it together as I sit here writing this. Who am I kidding, I have been trying to hold myself together for the past month and a half now. Life is unfair sometimes, and funny but mostly unfair. It’s funny how we can hide behind a smile on our face and pretend we are okay. And people believe that we are okay, but we know deep down that we have things going on that no body knows of. I am hiding behind a screen about to spill my heart out to some people who will actually take the time out of their day to read this.

My husband and I are celebrating our first year of marriage in 3 weeks. It seems like it was just yesterday that we were reading our wedding vows in front of our closest friends and family. Some of you reading this will completely agree with the things you are about to read in this blog, and some of you will think I’m totally wrong. That’s okay. That’s the beauty of relationships and lessons we learn. We are all different. These are the things I’ve learned over the past year and the things we’ve experienced. Take it with a grain of salt, if you will! This next part in my blog is not to make anyone feel sorry for us, or put us on a pedestal. I just want to share some things that you may want to consider in the future.

Today I met a women who inspired me, challenged me and left incredible foot prints on my heart.  I may have only talked to her for 30 minutes, but I left our conversation feeling and striving to pursuit my passion and dreams. She spoke words that make me realize its moments like this that make going to work everyday worth it. For most of you that are reading this probably don’t know that I have not only one career, but two.  Both fulfilling and rewarding, but completely different careers.  As you all know, I am a wedding and lifestyle photographer but also work health care.  I went to school 5 years ago to become a Registered Dental Assistant. Don’t ask me why, I woke up one day and decided that’s what I wanted to do.  1 week later, I was accepted into the program and would be starting in 2 months.  A completely random decision and it was a career that never once crossed my mind but it was a decision I made that I have been thankful for ever since.  I have learned more these past 5 years than I ever though was possible. I have been thrown many experiences, good and bad.  Grown into a young adult, and made many life long friendships. I have the ability to help people, every single day.  Although people may not love coming to see us eryday, we make a difference.

Finally! I have been trying to make this blog post for weeks now, but our internet has not been cooperating. I wanted to share a couple of my favorite photos from our Honeymoon. By a couple, I mean a lot because it was too hard to pick just a few! These are a mix between iPhone, my DSLR and some images from our photo shoot with Meg Courtney. These images from our honeymoon mean more to me than anyone will ever know. This way by far the greatest two weeks I have shared with someone in one of the most spectacular places on earth. We did absolutely anything and everything, and it was worth every minute of it. If you have not yet been to Hawaii, do it!

I know everyone stumbles upon struggles in life. Some more than others. Mine is the  constant struggle of always wondering if I am enough and I seem to be stumbling upon that quite often lately. Am I successful enough? Am I good enough? Do I have enough talent? I've always struggled with self doubt and second guessing myself. Tonight I sat down and reviewed every single edited image I took in 2015; weddings, engagements, maternity, newborn and family sessions.

I grew up very fortunate, my parents always believed in my dreams + my goals. They encouraged learning + growing, sports, 4-H + school were a big part of my childhood. My parents always wanted us to do our best, but to enjoy what we were doing. Whatever we chose to do, we were encouraged to give our 100% with their help and support along the way. I grew up more artistic than athletic, I would rather draw pictures than kick a soccer ball. I had to really try at sports, it didn’t come easy for me. Art on the other hand, was something that I didn’t ever have to think about. I could pick up a paint brush and know exactly what to do with it. I didn’t struggle with art, because it is something I was passionate about. I spent many hours from painting to sketching to crafts to thumb art to pastels, you name it – I did it. I took art classes every Saturday with a very talented artist, I learned everything I know from him. To this day, I still value everything he taught me, all the hours I spent in the studio with many other talented teenagers.

Over the past 3 weeks, I have had so many people ask me how it happened. Where it happened. What I said. What he said. How I felt. As much as I absolutely love telling the story over and over, I decided I should just write it down! Be prepared, this is going to be a long one. As most of you know, Darcy and I have been together for 5 years now. Of course, after dating for that long the topic of marriage comes up every now and than. I always knew he was the one, I knew within the first couple months of us dating. Only being 17 years old and knowing that he’s the one, sounds crazy, right? Thats the last thing I thought I would be thinking about when I was 17. But honestly, we clicked, we get each other, were so different but so similar in so many ways. I feel like we were made for each other (I swear I’m not usually cheesy…..)

Fall has always been a difficult time of year. The weather changes from sunny, warm & colorful to dark, chilly & dull. Life gets busier, traffic gets unbearable, the wind picks up, kids go back to school, everyone is starting to get ready for winter, families want fall pictures taken with the beautiful leaves, some people start Christmas shopping & others are booking their winter vacations.

Have you ever taken the time to think of how much impact you have on someone else’s life, or how much of an impact someone else has on your life? One person I could never live without is my mother. Someone who has been there for me from day one, cared for me nine months before she ever met me, and has continued to do so for the last 21 years of my life.