THE FIRST AND BEST SIX MONTHS BECAUSE OF YOU.

Some nights I purposely let you fall asleep in my arms. Just so I can hold you a little longer and watch your chest move up and down as you rest so peacefully. You fit so perfectly in my arms. Sometimes you let out a sigh with the cutest little smile. You must be dreaming. Before I put you down for the night I always hold your hand and squeeze it tight. I give you a kiss on your cheek and hold you close. Often times I find tears running down my face because I don’t know how someone like me was blessed with someone like you. You’ve changed me, and I always find myself wondering how I lived the past 24 years without you? I can’t imagine my life without you. I wake up every morning so thankful for you. So thankful that you made me a mother and gave me something I never knew was missing. You’re simply the sweetest. You have such a kind and gentle soul. The way your whole face lights up when you see me walk into your room every morning. You greet me with the biggest smile and instantly wrap your arms around my neck when I pick you up. My heart has never been so full. My love for you is way different then any kind of love I have experienced before. The love only a mother can relate too.

The months leading up to your arrival, I had no expectations about what was yet to come. I was absolutely terrified. I had no idea what you would look like, what your personality would be, what kind of mother I would be and how much our life would change. I knew I would love you, but I had no idea I would love you this much. As I sit here writing this, I have the happiest tears streaming down my face. My heart is just so full of love, for you. I’m so proud of who you are becoming and you’re only six months old. Everyday you’re turning from a little baby into a little boy. I’m proud of how far you have come and how far you have left to go. I love watching you grow, and learn. I love watching you stumble and fall, because I know you will come out stronger. And we love that we get to be the ones to guide you in this wonderful life you have ahead of you. I love watching you change and how curious you are about this big world we live in. I hope you never lose your sense of wonder for the things that surround you. While we are here teaching you about life, you’ve taught us what life is really all about. You’ve taught us patience and that a person really can survive on no sleep as long as there is a lot of love and support available. You’ve taught us that materialistic things don’t matter anymore, only moments and memories do. You’re challenging and wonderful all at the same time. I’ve had more breakdowns from physical and mental exhaustion because of you, but I’ve also had some of the best moments of my entire life. Thank you for giving me the life I’ve always needed but didn’t know I was missing.

I’m sad how fast the past 6 months have gone by, and I never truly understood when people would warn me of that. The days are long but the years are short. I promised myself to document and write about as much of your life as possible. And I’m so glad I have kept that promise to myself. It’s crazy to look back on how different you are in such a short period of time. I hope you always smile as big as you smile today. The way your whole face lights up and the way you stick your tongue out right before you let out a giggle. You have such a laid back demeanour. Some days I forget I even have a baby in the house. Other times I think this is the calm before the storm. But I’m willing to weather whatever storm you bring us. Because I know we can get through it and it will only make us all a little stronger.

Your dad and I always joke how we could never give you a sibling because there’s no possible way they would be as perfect as you. I have fear that I don’t have enough room in my heart for another. I feel as if you’ve taken up its whole capacity and I can’t imagine sharing my love with anyone else. That’s mostly just fear. Trust me, if I had my way, I’d give you 10 siblings and a house filled with chaos and laughter, tears and temper tantrums and again, so much love.

In a few short (but felt like long) months, you went from being a sleepy little baby who was pretty oblivious to the world, to a baby who could strongly hold your head up, to sitting on your own and now you shriek with excitement when we walk in the room. Six months in, and you’re finally getting the hang of sleep. You’ve slept through the night twice now but feelfree to start doing it every night. You fall asleep on your own without a fuss and you love your crib. We’ve come along way in the sleep department, even though I still feel like a sleep deprived mom of a newborn baby. I’m sure that will never go away. I’m starting to rock the bags under my eyes now. We started you on solids early because you were trying to put all our food in your mouth. Your not a fan of avocado but I keep trying. You love bananas, sweet potatoes, apple & crackers. Sometimes you like to be a jerk and blow raspberries after I put a spoon full in your mouth or open your mouth and watch the food fall out. Its becoming basically impossible to change your diapers now because your feet kick and flail everywhere. You love the bath tub, but it looks like a tsunami hit when we’re done. You love to be thrown up in the air and carrying you around is becoming a workout. You haven’t grasped the concept of bending your knees yet, its hilarious to watch. Your red hair is the topic of conversation anywhere we go. The ladies go nuts for it. You can thank me for that later. You’re such a good little traveller, you had your first plane ride to your first vacation destination this month. You just giggled and smiled both flights. You love the water and we started swimming lessons. I dunked you underwater for the first time and you looked pretty mad at me for a second. Your personality is a spitting image of your fathers but you also remind me so much of your Uncle Jared. I don’t know what it is, but often times I see him when I look at you. A few people have told me that now. I’m glad you bring the memory of him back to people around you.

You are so full of life and joy. You bring so much happiness to so many lives around you. You are so loved and have impacted so many people in such a short period of time. Everything about you lights up our life. I’m so grateful for the past six months with you and I look forward to many many more. I love you my sweet little boy, more then you will ever know. I can’t wait to watch how much you change in the next six months.