We have dreamed of you.


Baby Rogowski,

We have dreamed of you. You came to us during a particularly hard time and helped us find our footing. Your father and I have many promises to make to you. Some of which you may not like, and others you may not understand until you are older, but one day I hope you read this and find yourself smiling. Only to realize we only wanted you to be safe, and happy, and oh so loved.

I promise to bring you home on the day you are ready. To put you gently in your car seat, clip you in nice and tight while you sleep safe and sound. Then watch your dad drive all 3 of us home. Under the speed limit, white knuckling the steering wheel, eyes the size of golf balls, as if you were strapped to the hood of the car with nothing but bungee cords. While I sit there clenching my fists, thinking he is still driving too damn fast.

I promise to commemorate special ocassions for you as you grow up. To take more pictures of you than humanly possible and post them ALL on social media. As you get older you will notice that most of your pictures usually consist of you snuggling with your daddy or riding the dog. There will be a few tucked in there of me trying to get a selfie with you while you nap after a bottle. I guarantee there will be at least one of you in the bathtub strictly reserved to embarrass you on your wedding day! Then of course everything in between like birthdays and graduations, which I so look forward to celebrating.

I promise to cry during every one of your milestones. I will cry when you are born, when you say your first word, and when you take your first step. I will cry when you get sick or fall and scrape your knee. I will cry on your first day of school, when you graduate, and when you get married…. The list could go on. Let’s face it, I’m crying writing this. This is really just a heads up. Don’t worry though, it’s your dad’s job to console me. He will chuckle quietly to himself while he hugs me close, and I will be alright.

I promise to say no. When you scream and cry while stomping your little feet at the store over a toy you want, I will stand strong and firmly repeat “no”…. in front of your daddy. Then I will return to the store the next day to buy you the toy you probably don’t even remember, behind your father’s back, because I will feel extreme mom guilt over the whole thing. I will do my best to instill a deep appreciation and respect for money and what it means to work for what you want, but that can wait until you are a little older. For now, while you are small, I reserve the right to spoil you. At least for a little while.

I promise to never stay mad. You may frustrate your father and I. You may cry all hours of the night. You may have a sassy attitude when you turn 2, that you no doubt inherit from me. You may have a melt down in the middle of the grocery store while other people give me dirty looks because I can’t control my 3 year old. You know, like other parents… ***eye roll*** You may attempt to swear like a trucker one day… I guess I have your daddy to thank for that. I will try to keep a straight face and sternly put you in a time out. While one hand is directing you to your chair the other will be dialing your father to brag about how you so perfectly used the F word as a comma. A small part of me that I will never admit to will be proud.

I promise to show you how to be strong. Strength is something this family has in spades my dear son. We will and can overcome anything, this I can assure you.

I promise you unconditional love until my last breath. A parent will always love their child no matter what. A parent will always love all their children equally. You will be the first to melt my heart by saying “I love you mommy!” You will be the first to test my patience and also your boundaries, reminding me that you are still learning. You will be the first to show us what an amazing young man we have raised, making us the proudest parents around. All of these special firsts, and many others, are the results of our love for you, and why I make you these promises.

As I lay here writing this you wriggle around in my belly and I wonder who you will be and what you will become. I have all these dreams for you that you may or may not fulfill, and that’s ok. One thing is certain though, you’re our rainbow after the storm, a new beginning of a new chapter, and our promise of happier days to come.


Your Mom

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